Only 2 days to go before I say farewell to Lboro as my home. Sigh. I feel worse and worse the closer it�s getting. I�ve done absolutely no packing all week. Adam�s done everything, and I�ve just sat around sulking with a lump in my throat and a tear pressing behind my eye. Not a happy girl.

Raven loves having her grandmother around. And grandmother loves having Raven around.

Sarah and Gracie were here yesterday. The whole baby group, minus Natalie, who�s in Zimbabwe for her daughter�s Christening, went out for dinner at the Australian restaurant in town on Thursday night, but Sarah and I decided we�d see each other one final time before I left, so she came over yesterday. It was really nice seeing her. I shall miss her much. I shall worry about her too. She�s very depressed. I wish there was something I could do. I really want to keep in touch with the baby group, and we�ve decided to set up a virtual baby group on MSN. Good idea.

We can�t get out of the contract with dansommer. But they have conceded that their service this past year was lacking � although the issue I raised were �minor� in their estimation. Grrrr� Anyways, unless we wish to pay our way out of the contract, we shall have to leave the house available for rental for 7 weeks this summer. Hm. Yes. So if all 7 weeks rent out, we shall be homeless for that period. I might go stay with Mette and Dennis for a couple of weeks. We want to go to England on holiday as well, so hopefully that�ll be possible for a couple of weeks too. Helle and Jens have a caravan we can use as well, so we can always pitch at the local caravan park. Adam would have a mere stroll to work from there.

So, today and tomorrow is all I�ve left. My mum only just got out of bed. I wanted to go into town this morning. I suppose I could�ve without her, but� I don�t know. I�m irritable and upset and� overwhelmed, I guess. Yet again I have to make a new life in a new place. I just don�t know if I can face it. It doesn�t get any easier as one gets older, it really doesn�t. People have lives and aren�t looking to expand their circles. Especially not to include someone like me. I�m not very easy to get on with at the best of times. The last memory I have of living in Denmark is bad. And that stops me from� hoping and believing I will be happy there. �Must be wonderful for you to go home,� people say to me. But I�m not going �home.� I�ve no home or network in Denmark. I have a best friend, a mum, a couple of brothers, a nephew, an auntie and some friends of the family. Family�s great but the network I was finally beginning to develop here with the girls from baby group was so good for me. People on the same page in life as me. Does that make sense?

I�m a whingebag. Probably PMT. Should get my period sometime between 11th and 16th of February � unless, of course, I�m pregnant. Don�t think I am, tho.

Mette doesn�t love me anymore. I think.

Anything else to say?

Oh yes. I remember. I love my daughter so much.