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[<<|>>|14.04.08|12:45|A mother and a father.]


The weather's been good and I've been going for shopping walks with my son, just like I used to do back in good ole' Loughborough with Raven when she was little. It's doing me the world of good. I mean, the previous place of residence had beautiful landscape around, but not much to actually go for... and I can't just go for going � I need to go for something.

The village where we live is very, very small, but it none-the-less hosts a few little shops � flowers, clothes, bread, groceries, decorating stuff, gifts and stuff, electrical stuff, pharmacy, funeral stuff, all things baby, bar, pizzeria, inn... and of course a charity shop. So yeah, I can easily spend a couple of hours just walking around. Also, although the shops are all in the same street, they're not next to each other or anything so it does take me on a bit of a journey getting from say the pharmacy to the all-things-baby place.

Mondays I go into Thisted to browse. Usually because there's some offer or other that makes it worth the money it costs to travel in there on the train. Today I'm going in to get some fruit. We get through a lot in an average week.

It's Raven's second birthday in just a few days. Amazing. I have a 2-year-old! From my early days as a Diarylander when my days were filled with university related activities such as reading, writing and smoking copious amounts of weed and to now where it's all about the Word Co||ector as a Mother � it's all very surreal.

Arthur only wakes once � maybe twice � a night now. He doesn't sleep with us, though. I don't like that, but what are we supposed to do � he simply sleeps better when he's in his �own� room. Specifically, he sleeps better in the pram in his own room. We have a proper cot bed for him now, but I'm sceptical. I think he'll prefer the pram, but we shall see. Raven's bedroom will soon be ready for her, and I think Arthur will be moving in with us again when she moves out. We'll see.

I better go check on the little man now. He seems to sleep and function in general better during the week when it's just me and him than during the weekend when we're all here. I think the stress gets to him a little. Or maybe it's the many attacks by his sister. I wonder if he thinks I'm mean to him, because sometimes when I'm breastfeeding him, Raven comes over and punches him in the stomach. It comes from out of nowhere. He's often half sleeping when it happens and he obviously doesn't know it's her, so maybe he thinks I punch him for no apparent reason every so often. Poor lad. You've gotta wonder how subsequent born children survive.

By the way, I saw Tom last Monday. He was at the train station � came off the the train I was about to board. I didn't say anything to him � we merely passed on the platform � but it was definitely him. I'm quite sure he recognised me too. He looked old. I hope he's happy. I don't think I've ever wanted happiness for anyone the way I wanted it for him. Maybe because I know his life � his early life � has made happiness unlikely. He is born with Foetal Alcohol Syndrome � albeit mild, and his mother died from drinking when he was only a big lad. Parents obviously divorced and no real contact with his father, he really had all odds against him. Stayed in numerous institutions and with foster families, but nothing that could really change the course for which he seemed destined. He was a car thief and heavy drinker when I was with him all those years ago. When we lived in London. Is it 13 years ago? Anyways, last I heard, he tried killing himself and was reduced to a vegetative state, but that's several years ago, and it appears he's alive and walking now. He didn't look well, though. Clad in rough clothes, scraggly looking. But I know he has a child, so I hope he is better than he looks. I hope he's able to be a father of some sort for his child. I hope.


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Previous Co||ections:
[06.12.11|20:20|Some news... ]
[11.10.11|12:14|New Me, New Job, New Car]
[24.06.11|09:08|Surgery confession. ]
[19.06.11|17:01|Shame on me.]
[10.06.11|09:52|Further on my operation.]




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