The happy streak yesterday was short lived and if possible I'm feeling slightly worse today – albeit less suicidal and more terrified.

Just to let you know what's been going on in a more linear fashion.

You know I had the shock of my life when I went to see our cottage after our last tenant moved out and that finances are cause for some concern.

But the story is longer than that and if you're really, really interested, here goes:

It was a sore sight. It could have been worse, but at this point it wouldn't really have mattered whether the damage had been for £5000 or £50.000 because we have less than £500 per months to live off when bills are paid, so obviously can't afford to put the place right. The insurance doesn't cover because it's "business."

Anyways, we knew he was trouble only in January because I rang him to arrange for the 3 monthly inspection and he flipped completely and hung up on me. When I say flipped, I should explain - his voice is completely without emotion. There's no raised voice, no displays of anything - but there's incoherent accusations and weirdness. The thing is, the neighbours had been calling us to tell us of his behaviour - like curtains ALWAYS drawn, never any signs of life, yet lights on 24/7. Alarm bells started ringing when we were told by neighbours that he had barricaded the front door and when he told me on the phone that people had been keeping an eye on him and that he was sick of us surveying him.

So, when we received his notice on January 27th, I was relieved. But it said he'd already moved because the house was making him ill and his doctor had told him if he didn't move he'd die, yet we hadn't been given the key which meant we couldn't legally access the house blah-blah-blah legal stuff blah-blah-blah. I tried writing, ringing, texting to get a hold of him. Nothing. Then Adam tried from work as the number wouldn't show on Tenant's phone. He got through and they agreed to meet up to give the keys over - that was the 5th of Feb. It was evening and the place was badly lit, Adam was nervous and Tenant kept talking at him and following him around. DH was just happy to get the keys and get out of there - didn't notice any of the damage 'cept for the door frame.

Then we went over on the 14th to clean. I was in tears. The house was filthy and - well - the kitchen especially had been stabbed.

Adding to this, he's spent over £1200 on heating the three months he was there. He's also not paid rent for Feb. So... *sigh*

There was a stack of 9-10 letters - bills - money he owes - in the letterbox when we went over (didn't open them, but it was obvious nevertheless), so I think I'll be the last in a long queue for money.

Anyways, I wrote him a letter and sent it recorded to put forward our claims. It has to be done no more than 2 weeks after handover. And then I rang the police. They asked me to put the claim in writing as they haven't got the manpower to go out to see it.

I also contacted estate agents to sell the cottage. We don't want to, but this whole business is just getting too much to handle for us.

Yesterday, the estate agent rang us to say he has a buyer and that if we're happy with the offer, we can have £8000 in our hands in 2 weeks. £8000. It'd be nice to have the money, but it's - well - ½ of what we paid less than 5 years ago and 1/3 of what it's valued for.

And then - just around 17:00 last night Tenant suddenly called. Firstly he wanted to know if we'd gone to his new abode and left opened letters or something outside his door. Well, you haven't given us your new address - we don't know where you live - no we haven't. Then he wanted to find out if we'd found a new tenant so he wouldn't have to pay his 3 months notice. What? I said we hadn't rented it out because of the damage. You know. We can't. What damage - he knew nothing about knife marks or damage.

I tell him I've reported him to the police and that I will discuss this no further. Again, his voice - tone of - doesn't change at all during the whole conversation - no emotions, surprise, anger, happiness - nowt. He say, well what else can I expect from crooks like you. I've seen you on the list of Worst Landlords on the Internet. Then he hangs up after telling me he knows where I live.

...

So, I sobbed - again. I cried and sobbed and felt sick and now I keep hearing stuff outside, I daren't go out and... well, I'm just so shook up by the whole thing and I... feel awful... can't eat, can't sleep... worry... even more now.

...

So, that's my fortnight in a brief overview. Have I mentioned I'm also trying to find work so obviously writing masses of applications and trying to keep it all together at home as well.

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Raven asks why I'm crying and says Daddy will look after me and I can have a dummy for bed. Arthur's poorly so clingy and demanding...

....

Oh, and Adam and I have argued for the first time ever. Funny thing is, we're not even arguing - we're just venting our frustrations, because it's not like we disagree on anything. But he does look after me and I think he's more upset about Tenant upsetting me than anything else.

...

Sorry for rambling on...

I realise this is of little interest to anyone, but I just had to put it down.