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[<<|>>|01.11.07|21:25|Losing my Dad]


My dad died last Thursday. The funeral was held yesterday on what would have been his 70th birthday.

Not surprisingly, his death has sparked many thoughts keeping my mind busy and my body idle.

It's sad.

It's sad I no longer have a dad and Raven no longer has a granddad.

It's sad Arthur never got to meet his granddad and vice versa.

And more than anything, it's tragic that a life could be lived like my father lived his.

But as the vicar said in the eulogy - my dad left traces in all of us; good ones, bad ones, memorable ones and ones best forgotten.

And thus it stands.

But my heart and my brain does not speak the same language on the matter, and my heart weeps for all the things I never said and never did, whilst my brain bravely explains that all that didn't happen was a reaction to all that did happen in a past so long ago I can barely recall.

Bitterness left a long time ago, and so did anger and hatred. I forgave, but I obviously didn't forget and the fear of becoming vulnerable to the difficult nature that was my dad was too strong for me to face.

Must have been, or surely I would have.


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[THAT WAY|NO WAY|THIS WAY]



Previous Co||ections:
[06.12.11|20:20|Some news... ]
[11.10.11|12:14|New Me, New Job, New Car]
[24.06.11|09:08|Surgery confession. ]
[19.06.11|17:01|Shame on me.]
[10.06.11|09:52|Further on my operation.]




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