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[<<|>>|25.01.08|18:31|All the lonely people...]


I�m feeling better today than I have done for a while. It�s only normal to have a bit of baby-blues, but it worries me just how deep and devastatingly cruel my thoughts and emotions become. Thank heaven that I am not a single mum and that I have a wonderful and supportive husband. Lord knows I miss having a network of some sorts outside the emidiate family and as always, I lament the lack of friends in the nearby. I miss my baby group from England very much. We keep in touch via the internet and such, but it�s obviously not enough � I crave human contact � other than my children, that is. The lack of human interaction, I feel, is making it difficult for me to be the mother I�d like to be. Especially when life events in general frassle me and I have noone but my husband to talk to about it all.

But Arthur is thriving (put on a full kilo now since birth) and Raven�s been so good the last couple of days. I was seriously worried about being on my own with both of them for two full days every week, but the better Raven has got to know Arthur and the more �every day� it becomes � and maybe the better I become at managing them both � the less of a nuisance Raven is whenever I have to feed, change or otherwise deal with Arthur and thus the less stressful it is for me.

Speaking of which � it may be that the youngest child is more spoiled than the oldest and so forth, but it�s definitely true that the oldest � at least whilst little and with the kind of age difference we have between ours � gets waaaaaay more attention than the youngest. I haven�t got nearly as much time or chance to just sit and talk and interact with Arthur as I did with Raven. All those hours where I could just sit there with her in my arms talking, singing and so on to her � well, Arthur certainly won�t have that kind of massive 1-on-1 stimulation from me. He won�t be going to baby massage or baby swimming with me wither � and we won�t be going on all those long, long walks Raven and I used to take. He will, however, have loads of interaction with his sister. She�s already a super big sister. She shares her toys with him and loves to include him in her games. He�s obviously completely uninterested, but I always tell her she�s really good and sweet for being a loving big sister. She gets really upset when I have to tell her to stop because she gets too rough with him or if she tries to feed him a biscuit or something.

I�m tired.

Today, it's three months since my dad died. Time doth fly!


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Previous Co||ections:
[06.12.11|20:20|Some news... ]
[11.10.11|12:14|New Me, New Job, New Car]
[24.06.11|09:08|Surgery confession. ]
[19.06.11|17:01|Shame on me.]
[10.06.11|09:52|Further on my operation.]




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