I smell.

My pelvic floor bones and pubic bones are causing me so much pain now that I find it difficult to walk for any distance or even get up/sit down/turn in bed without significant discomfort. I can still tie my shoe laces and put my socks on � no problem. I can walk the stairs, as long as I keep a firm grip on the handrail � but the simple things � like bending down to pick up something up off the floor or turn in mid-walk is nigh impossible.

I�d definitely be happier if she came now than if she decided to wait another 5 weeks. I�m due in 25 days, but anytime between week 37 and week 42 is considered term. Depending on whether you take my due date as the 5th or the 10th, I�m now week 36+3 or 37, so she�s perfectly fine to come out now. She�s all formed and the rest of the time in uterus is just for putting on weight, but she�ll already be about 3 kilos or 6 pounds by now � and probably some 51 cm, so not at all to small to be born. Her lungs are fully developed as are the rest of her. I�m trying to convince her to make an early appearance, but apparently it�s not possible. I would obviously prefer if my mum was here when she comes, but I�d rather she comes early than hang on �till after the 30th, if that�s the choice. But of course, there is no choice. Nature will take its course, and there�s absolutely nothing I can do to change that.

Am I nervous about the birth? No, not really � I�m expecting it to be absolutely gruelling, painful beyond belief and absolutely wretched, but as it�s another one of those things I can�t do much to influence, I can�t really see the point of being nervous. In fact, as things are now, I�m looking forward to it more than anything, because it will stop the continuous and rather horrid pain I�m in at the moment. At least labour only lasts at most a couple of days, whereas the prospect of suffering crippling pain like the pain I�m in at the moment for another 5-6 weeks makes me want to cry.

I went for a (yet another) scan on Monday at the hospital. Cos I�m fat they say they can�t feel if she�s head down. That�s not actually true, because my midwife at the GP and my GP herself were perfectly capable of determining she was head down last time I went there as were they at the maternity ward across the hall from the ante-natal clinic where they do the scans. Same midwives, too, doing both the maternity ward and the ante-natal clinic. I think it was just that particular midwife who couldn�t. That�s fair enough, I suppose, but how very annoying when Adam and I went and the nurses, scan person, and midwife were all asking us why we were there and why we�d been asked to come in for this scan. Apparently, mainly to waste our and your precious time! She is head down, by the way, and has been for the last 4 weeks. It may be that my uterus has expanded to 1000 its original size, but it does not mean my daughter has enough room to do much in the way of acrobatics by now, and I�m confident she�ll be staying head down until she comes out. So is the midwife � both the one I saw at the hospital on Monday, and my GP midwife.

I could have told them, anyways, that she�s head down. I can feel her little feet kicking me just under my right breast, and that�s how it�s been for some time. And I can feel her turning her head down against my pubic bone � again, that�s been the case for some time.

We went to see Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Ware Rabbit on Sunday. It was good. I do love animated films. It was on at the 0deon in Leicester as a matinee. It�s obviously long off the evening cinema listings, but on in the mornings on weekends for kids� birthdays and the like. We missed it when it first came out last year, but then we got to see Corpse Bride instead.

I don�t know exactly how many centimetres I am around the biggest part of my belly. Many, though. I�m huge! Adam�s got his old video camera out and has filmed my big belly, so you can see it even if it�s gone by the time you come over here � which I sincerely hope it is! I hope Raven�s out and has been for a couple of weeks by the time you come over. Seriously. Although I would love for you to be here when she�s born � again � I�d rather she comes out sooner.

Anything else going on in my life? Not really. Angel�s paw has healed. We�ve sold loads of Adam�s miscellaneous roleplay and wargames miniatures on eBay and made near enough �250. We�re almost done packing the hospital bag we need for when Raven decides to come out. Her room is almost ready too. She won�t be living in there for some time yet, but my mum will be occupying the room in two weeks for a month. Other than that, we�re kinda just plodding along � well, I am, anyways. We try to keep on top of the housework, but to be honest, it�s not a priority at the moment, because the pain I�m in makes it almost impossible to do anything properly. I keep the bathroom clean and wash the floors, but that�s about the limit of my abilities � oh, and I do the cooking, of course. Adam pretty much does everything else. He vacuums, does the dishes, and carries washing through and fro the washing machine� He�s so good. He�s also finally made me a handrail so I can scale the stairs more easily. We�ve got little projects around the house � like the toy box for Raven we made out of the late inbuilt storage in her room, the new hatch for the loft, new windows in the kitchen, new kitchen, etc. And then there�s the wedding. All the invites have gone out and we�ve sorted a venue for the reception � but we�ve no closer to arranging the food, the clothing or the overnight accommodation in Germany, which we will need when we drive over and back. Adam�s got his certificate of no impediment, which he needs for us to apply for a marriage license in Denmark. We just need to go to Birmingham, then, when Raven is born, to sort out a Danish passport for her.

So, as you can see, we�re just plodding. I�m still at work � another 1 � days and next week. I finish on the 24th. Looking forward to it, I must say, though I�m not actually looking forward to sitting around at home. Luckily, my mum will be over quite soon after I finish, so it�s only really for a couple of days I�ll be moping around with nothing to do but watch daytime television and cuddle my dog � cos it�s the only things I�ll be physically capable for doing by then, I expect;)